Experts’ Advice on How to Share Sexual Fantasies With Your Spouse
Fetishes and fantasies are often considered off-limits in the world of sex. Although studies and research suggest that they are not so rare, your partner is probably the best person to talk to about your sexual dreams. However, at first, it can be challenging to know how to express your sexual fantasies to someone. If you have never talked about it, you may not know what to ask, how to ask, or how to respond. Fortunately, we have put together a short list of simple tips on how to talk about your and your partner’s sexual fantasies.
Get Rid of Your Judgmental Side
Before revealing your fetishes to your partner, you must be willing to accept your partner’s as well. Fetishes and fantasies are not always what you want them to be. It is crucial that you are willing to accept the person you love despite the things that turn them on. However, this does not mean you have to go along with the actions or experiences they describe. If you accept your partner’s fantasies, it simply means that you give them your full attention. If your partner has a fetish that you do not understand or identify with, ask yourself if you can accept it.
Could you handle it if your partner said he was interested in dom/sub relationships? What if he wants to use sex toys with you or himself in the bedroom? If your lover fantasizes about having sex with someone other than you, will you look at him differently? You are not ready for this conversation if you do not think you are ready to hear such a thing. Do yourself and your partner a favor and wait until you are sure there will be no insults in the conversation before continuing. After talking openly about sex, you and your partner should become closer.
Set and Respect Boundaries
In an ideal world, everyone would be able to live out all their fantasies with the support of their partner. But as we have just established, each of us has different sexual desires, so we can almost guarantee that you and your lover will not agree on all topics discussed. Before you learn about your partner, explore your sexual obsessions and understand what turns you on and off.
It is important to understand what turns you on and does not, with a twofold benefit. This will bring you two advantages. Initially, you will be able to talk openly about your sexual fantasies with your partner. You will also be able to recognize the fantasies he displays that you find acceptable, clearly establishing your limits in areas where you feel uncomfortable. At the same time, you need to respect your partner’s limits.
Be an Active Listener
Talking about sexual fantasies can be challenging. The speaker or listener may perceive it as true. Therefore, paying attention and consciously responding while actively listening is essential. Be sure to do your best to pay attention to your partner when communicating his or her desires, maintaining eye contact, and not interrupting.
When it is your turn, you must be perceptive with your words. Fetishes and fantasies are private; if you criticize them publicly, your partner may feel attacked or rejected. Instead, use language that respects your personal boundaries and accepts your partner for who he or she is.
Your partner’s reaction will depend on how you react to him or her. This has more implications than simply figuring out what sexual dreams you and your partner may have in common. Even if your fetishes are different, conscious and favorable responses will help you maintain a happy sexual bond. One of the best things you can do with your lover is talk about sex. It is also a great opportunity to learn more about your partner’s thoughts and feelings, which will increase your intimacy. Have fun expressing your sexual fantasies, and encourage your partner to do the same.
